“Are you ready?” Gwen asked as she playfully raised and lowered her eyebrows at Elizabeth. She let out a small laugh as she stated, “you know, it’s not too late to back out.”
(Maurya noted - good descriptions of what characters are doing while they are speaking, breaking up the dialogue and building character. Talked about reading dialogue out loud to help it flow better, basing speech patterns on how people you know talk, be open to writing a lot and editing later when you feel like you've developed a voice.)
Elizabeth rolled her eyes, shook her head and smiled back at Gwen and said, “After so many months of planning the wedding, I may as well go through with it.”
Gwen’s melodic laughter filled the room, she picked up a comb and walked toward Elizabeth. She began to comb Elizabeth’s hair as she said, “Well then, we better get you ready. It is almost 10:00 and you look like you just rolled out of bed…” As Gwen spoke her smile began fading and she began to bite her lower lip. Her comb easily slid through Elizabeth’s bright red curls. Her brow furrowed deeply as she twisted Elizabeth’s hair into a loose knot just above the nape of her neck securing it with a few hair pins.
Elizabeth met Gwen’s eyes in their reflections in the mirror. She smiled widely at Gwen revealing straight white teeth and a small dimple on her left cheek. “It’s going to be okay. We’ve gone over the plans with the Priest so many times. It is fool proof.”
Gwen’s face softened and she smiled slightly, “I know Liz. I just wish that Ezra was able to come to the wedding…” She reached her hand up and pinched the bridge of her nose and closing her eyes tightly. “…I don’t like lying to him and I know he would love to see you and George finally get married, he would be so happy to know that Mary was going to have a father again.”
Elizabeth stood and put her arm around Gwen’s shoulders. She looked Gwen in the eyes and said, “I am sure he will be able to tell very soon. After-all I will be moving into George’s house.” She gave Gwen a wry smile then continued saying, “I’m sure he will be quite scandalized.” With that they both began laughing full heartedly. (Jessica doesn't care about Elizabeth! She may be a bit of a plot device. She's going to go to prison later, debtors' prison. We talked about having the priest being the one who talks Gwen into doing what she does. He sets an example before and then Gwen takes his place when he is taken away, foreshadowing Ezra taking Gwen's place. Talking about having Elizabeth not get sent to prison and instead be around with Mary and Gwen falls back on their family for support and help sometimes because Ezra doesn't know what is going on.)
As the day went on though Elizabeth’s comment about Ezra being scandalized echoed in Gwen’s mind. She couldn’t help but wonder which would scandalize him more; believing that Elizabeth and George were living together unmarried or knowing that his wife had assisted her best friend in breaking the law. (Take a moment to explain why they have to get married illegally, and why they wouldn't get married legally. Melody's comment - why is Gwen doing what she doing? What is going to motivate her to keep going? What makes her willing to risk her freedom and her marriage?) The thrilling feeling of thwarting tyranny that was igniting in her chest flickered with feelings of guilt. Gwen had always known that right and wrong could be complicated but she could not have foreseen this.
(Dennison thought this line could be more natural - the "could not have foreseen this".)
However, as the day carried on and the ceremony commenced Gwen forgot her guilt. The priest pronounced George and Elizabeth “husband and wife, before God” and they shared a kiss. All was silent except for birds singing gently in the trees. The couple embraced, surrounded by their loved and trusted select friends in the peaceful forest clearing. Gwen looked around at the glowing happy faces, faces that so often wore the lines of sorrow and worry, and that feeling surged into her again. She felt brazen and defiant. These feelings mixed with the feelings of love that she felt for her friends and something in her mind warned her against the heady brew of emotions and the consequences acting on them would bring.
In order to avoid arousing suspicion the party dispersed one at a time. Gwen was one of the first to go. She wanted to get home to Ezra before he started wondering where she was. It was well past noon and he would be arriving home very soon…if he wasn’t there already. She walked briskly around the city. Since war had become a thing of the past, a distant rumor, so upkeep on the city wall had suffered. There was a large portion of the wall at the back of the city that had all but disappeared. Gwen, as well as all the wedding party, had crossed over into the forest through this wall in order to avoid detection by the guards who always watched the front gates. As Gwen picked her way over the rubble she noticed that ivy and moss that were beginning to turn green again after the long winter. The patches of green sprinkled throughout the dark color of the stone looked quite beautiful. She remembered the first time that she had been here long ago.
(Dennison felt like the transition was abrupt from the present to a flashback.)
Ezra was a much faster climber than she, he scrambled over the rocks like a mountain goat. She was breathing hard and trying to keep up. He finally slowed his pace and turned to look back at her. Behind him the sun was beginning to fall, painting the sky with colors of red and orange. His dark hair fell into his deep blue eyes as he looked down at her. He reached up a hand and smoothly pushed his hair back, gave her a wry grin and asked, “Do you need help?”
She did need help, but was not going to admit it. Especially not to Ezra of all people. Gwen had spent a good portion of the year she had known Ezra quite infatuated with him and this was their first outing alone together. She wanted him to believe that she would be able to keep up with him. Gwen cocked her head, put both hands on her waist and replied, “No, I am just enjoying the view. Unlike some people, I want to enjoy myself not just race to the end.”
His smile widened and his eyes lit up he looked as though he was going to laugh, instead he nodded and then said, “Let’s rest here for a moment, I am getting tired…” he walked toward her and then sat next to her feet. He looked up at her winked and said, “I was racing to the end because there’s an even better view just a few minutes ahead that I want you to see before the sun sets.”
Gwen could tell he did not believe her at all, but was grateful for the rest. She sat next to him. They sat in silence for several minutes then Gwen stood and said, “I am ready to go if you are." He stood and they walked together over the rest of the rubble and around the corner of the city. They walked into the woods for several yards before they came to the abandoned bridge that crossed the Iris River. Ezra began to cross the bridge but Gwen hesitated.
He turned and reach out his hand toward her. “It’s safe Gwen. Trust me,” he said as he smiled at her. Although she was afraid, the bridge certainly didn’t look safe, she did trust him. She took his hand and the crossed the bridge. With every step she pulled in closer to him afraid that the bridge was going to fall apart beneath their feet. When they arrived on the other bank safely she noticed that he did not let go of her hand.
They walked some more until they came to an old half demolished building. It was made of stone and although it was in ruin, she could tell that it was once magnificent and grand. “What is this place? And how have I not seen it before?”
He laughed gently and winked as he said, “well it is missing the top half, and the trees hide it pretty well. I found it when I was young. I was walking through the forest with my father and I ran across the bridge before he could stop me. Once we were on this side he figured we may as well explore before we ‘risk our lives trying to get back.’ When we found this he told me he had heard rumors of this place before and that it was the castle before ‘corrupt Kings took over the lands.’ He would tell me grand stories about Kings who were loved by their people, freedom throughout the lands and knights defending that freedom…” As he spoke he looked at the crippled building a wistful look upon his face.
She asked incredulously, “Were the stories true?”
He looked at her and his face fell, “probably not, my father said that they were but that doesn’t mean it is true. I wish it were though. Can you imagine that? What he described…kings who were loved by the people instead of feared. It is a fairy tale.” He looked back at the building.
Gwen reached out with her free hand and touched his cheek saying, “Well whatever this was before, you were right. The view is breathtaking.”
(Marissa asked, "Why did you choose to have a flashback here?"
Jessica explained that the bridge has significance for the story, and seeing the bridge brought it to Gwen's mind. Jessica plans on having flashbacks to build that up throughout, and the bridge brought up the first there. We talked about whether to make flashbacks more succinct, or having a set pattern to when they occur, such as at the beginning of every chapter, so that it doesn't feel like simply a device to move and explain the plot.)
Gwen looked out into the forest, straining her eyes to see if she could see the crumbled building. Even though she knew right where to look for it, it was as if it was not there. She had considered suggesting this as the venue for the secret wedding, but the “castle” was a special place. Just for her and Ezra, she had not told anyone else about it and she knew Ezra hadn’t either. Ezra hadn’t been back there in many years. Not since what happened with Jonas… her heart ached at the thought and she pushed it out of her mind. She looked back toward the city and hurried home.
